


Fearless On Her Breath

by GoofyGoldenGirl



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Affairs, Boss/Employee Relationship, Cheating, Dysfunctional Relationships, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Groping, Guilt, Intimacy, Kissing, Love Confessions, Non-Explicit Sex, Passion, Roleplay, Romantic Angst, Sensuality, Sex, Unrequited Love, Vulnerability, gabenath, gabriel needs a therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:15:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoofyGoldenGirl/pseuds/GoofyGoldenGirl
Summary: Brutal honesty, Nathalie believed, was much easier to sit with than false hope
Relationships: Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Comments: 11
Kudos: 48





	Fearless On Her Breath

**Author's Note:**

> _Love, love is a verb  
>  Love is a doing word  
> Fearless on my breath  
> Gentle impulsion  
> Shakes me, makes me lighter  
> Fearless on my breath _ [Teardrop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h-JYx76QNM) Massive Attack

Steam filled the bathroom as Nathalie closed the shower door behind her. She blinked to readjust her vision to her surroundings. The thick layer of humidity that hung in the air aggravated her sight, but it did not bother her. She wouldn’t be needing her glasses tonight.

Gabriel had already laid out everything for her on the bathroom counter. Skin creams, perfume, hygiene products, and makeup exclusive to the Agreste line were arranged by alphabetical order and intended use. The lingerie set, the one he had gifted Emilie for their tenth wedding anniversary, was neatly folded on the right. And on top of the styrofoam wig stand sat a medium length, honey-gold wig.

Gabriel was meticulous about details and order. It was the reason why they worked so well together in their day to day activities in managing the Agreste line as well as their quest to bring Emilie back. _Complemented each other_ was the hope that stirred from the depths of Nathalie’s heart that she tried to squash. Gabriel’s cold, blunt nature was not easy but she respected how he didn’t waste time with half-truths and convoluted explanations. He set rules. He was clear and concise. His words hurt, but brutal honesty, Nathalie believed, was much better to sit with than false hope. 

Nathalie thought back to all those months ago when he proposed the idea to her. And for a second, she was back in the lair, watching Gabriel detransform. A sigh and he opened his eyes. He lifted his head up to watch the stain glass window close. She hurried towards him, ready to reassure him to not lose hope just yet. That there was a next time and that he would be victorious. Emilie would wake up, and they would both have their happily ever after, just like how things were meant to be. 

It was then that he looked over his shoulder at her. The hint of sunlight that managed to escape through the cracks of the metallic cover of the stained glass window bounced off of the lens of his glasses. The curiosity in his eyes heightened and gave way to a searing gaze that Nathalie had never seen before. His lips parted as he studied her. Lingered on her breasts, the curve of her waist, and hips. A gleam of realization flashed. He stepped forward. The butterflies scattered. His hand was on her cheek. Her heart was pounding. Eyes following the moment of his lips as he spoke. His words enticed her. Excited her. Until he dropped the ball. 

_This arrangement will be temporary of course_

She understood. She agreed. And although every fiber in her being the sensation of flinging her arms around him and bringing him into a passionate kiss coursed through her body, she stood still. There was a time and place for everything. She would have her chance later. It was fair. 

Nathalie dried herself off and placed her towel in the hamper. She quickly dressed and styled herself. She saved the wig for last. Taking it into her hands, she could feel how brittle, matted, and greasy the fibers had become from countless pullings and washings to get rid of secretions that accumulated from their couplings. She pulled her wig over the bun that held her still wet hair. The transformation complete, Nathalie stepped back and looked into the mirror. 

She didn’t recognize the woman staring back at her. Though her eyebrows were a light brown and her eyes blue, the blond color of the wig clashed with the sharpness of her jaw and the point of her chin. The lingerie was a set she would never choose for herself. The panties’ thin, sheer fabric showed how bare and red her pubic mound was from the waxing session earlier. The bra fared no better as cool air that circulating from the ceiling fan above grazed against the tip of her nipples. The lingerie was a garish shade of orchid pink, too pale for someone who looked better in darker colors, with only a line of black lace that embroidered the top of the bra cups and the waistline of the panties to keep her appeal. It was also a shade that highlighted the veiny patches of black and blue on her thighs and arms from all the times she collapsed from the coughing attacks.

But hopefully, Gabriel wouldn’t notice. Tonight, just for a few, blissful hours, all his fears and worries would fade away.

With one last glance in the mirror, Nathalie turned. She took a deep breath and smoothed the wig’s hair back. With a swish, the wig’s hair settled at the middle of her upper back. She grabbed the doorknob and stepped outside.

Gabriel sat on the edge of the right side of his bed, with his back towards her. He was still dressed save for his shoes, socks, and blazer that he had removed and stored away. He raised his head as the bathroom door closed, but did not turn around just yet. Nathalie cleared her throat and loosened her lips. 

“Hello Gabriel,” her voice took on a sultry softness that wasn’t hers.

Gabriel turned. She slowly removed his glasses and blinked. The sternness in his expression melted. Tenderness shone in the deep blue of his eyes. His thin lips stretched and curled up into a lovestruck grin. His arm lifted and reached out. 

“ _Emilie.”_

His wife’s name cut through Nathalie like a knife, but she remained calm. Her vision blurry, with only an outline of the bed and his figure to guide her, she moved forward. Her hip swayed, followed by small, dainty steps that Emilie used to take. Her vision sharpened back into focus. The bright crimson of the bedcovers. The lines on Gabriel’s forehead and the creases on the side of his eyes. How his eyes lit up as she cupped his cheek and angled it in a tilt. 

“Did you miss me?” Nathalie asked. 

Her free hand settled on his shoulder. It bunched up and pressed down. She felt Gabriel clasp his hand around her waist. 

“Oh darling, it feels like I waited a _lifetime_ for you.”

His lips felt dry against the glossy shine of the lipstick Nathalie had applied. His hand tightened and reeled in her. She wobbled. Knees anchored onto his thighs and heels eased back to adjust. Gabriel’s hand curved. Nathalie’s posture straightened. 

“ _Emilie._ ”

His lips trailed down the side of her face and across the front of her neck. Nathalie’s hands shot towards the back of his head. Her fingers Nathalie’s fingers ran through his hair, now only realizing how thin and wispy they had become over the last few months. She glanced down to see that he had buried his face in between her bosom. 

“God, you are so _beautiful._ ”

His lips puckered up against the tops of her breasts that was accentuated by the bra’s push-up feature. His hands crept up her back. She felt his fingers hook onto her bra clasp. They tapped against her skin. The cups loosened. Her arms pulled away to let her bra fall off of her arms and land somewhere between the edge of the bed and the floor. The flat of his palms pressing on her back made Nathalie shiver. He breathed. His touch made her weak.

“I’ve forgotten. I’ve--“

Gabriel was at a loss for words. His hands moved to express what he couldn’t say. Emilie, Nathalie reminded herself, liked this. Was _turned on_ by this. She wasn’t _Nathalie,_ who only registered the sensation of Gabriel’s squeezes and nothing else. Who wanted Gabriel to go back to holding her close and never let go in case this _rendezvous_ would be the last. Whose hands were desperately cradling the back of his head with an itching desire to start wandering. To _touch_ him. _Feel_ him. _Show_ him how far she’d go and how much she _loved_ him by playing this part. Emilie on the other hand, was _patient._ She was a _saint,_ who put up with so much of Gabriel’s whims. The same Emilie who lay downstairs in the basement, unaware—

Nathalie grimaced. She quickly closed her eyes, hoping that Gabriel did not look up and see the guilt written all over her face. To her relief, his eyes and hands were still on her chest. Nathalie’s hands lowered. Her finger stroked the outline of his shirt’s collar and hooked on. She leaned in.

“You know honey, you’re not the only one who wants to get handsy,” Nathalie breathed against his lips.

Gabriel’s hands gripped her waist. Head in the crook of his neck, knees straddling the sides of his thighs, Nathalie undid the buttons of his shirt. Her hands slid across and down his chest, taking in how smooth his skin was against her palms. Then as his hands maneuvered her even closer to him, her breasts. The room in her line of sight lurched. Nathalie’s weight bore down against his body. Pressing her hips against his’. Letting her arms curve by the side of his head as he pulled her into another feverish kiss. Her lower lip trembled. Jutted out. A sharp gasp blew against the front of his face. His hand moved to brush a strand of the wig’s hair back. He lowered his head and whispered in her ear:

“Emilie, tell me. What do you want me to do?”

Nathalie registered that the wig was slipping. She raised a hand to give it a slight tug down. Gazing into the sea of blue of his eyes, Nathalie’s lips parted. 

She let go. 

It was at moments like these she remembered why she committed to this role. With no one-track mindedness to get in her way, Gabriel was an exceptional lover. He knew what made her tick. Delicate caresses. Searing kisses. To go slow and draw out the pleasure. Nathalie couldn’t feel the bed underneath her. The lightness of his breath, the moisture that lingered, it felt like she was sinking into the depths of the ocean. She shook. Moaned. And for a brief second as she tilted her head down, a fuzzy combination of grey and blonde flashed before her eyes. 

“Emilie,” his voice was muffled, but rang clearly in Nathalie’s ears. She gripped the sheets.

“I want _you!_ ” she begged. “Oh god I— _I_ ” Her body tensed.

“You want to? But you’re so close,” His voice floated up from below.

“I want to _with_ you,” Nathalie’s arm reached out to touch Gabriel’s hand that held her thigh. 

They were drowning. 

The sheets were already damp with sweat. Nathalie shuddered. The top of the wig rode up to the point where the front of her hair was exposed, but she didn’t care. Her head was arched back onto the pillow, her gaze focused on the blurred intensity in Gabriel’s eyes until her vision started to flicker. His pressure engulfed her. She rocked, thrashed about like a ship over turbulent waters. Her shrill cries mingled with the howl of the wind. Her hand pressed on the curve of his back. She was tossed overboard, with only him to keep her afloat. 

“Emilie, I love you.”

His right arm moved upward towards where her arm lay over the pillow. His hand slid into hers. 

“I love you so much.”

The stability in his voice was gone. Sweat glistened on his forehead. Tears watered in his eyes as he leaned to kiss her once more.

_I just wish_ She thought. 

His hand tightened on hers in an almost unbearable grip. His lip twitched then widened to let out a passioned scream. The tide washed over and swept him to lay directly against her.

_I just wish that you’d just say my **name** _

They were still. His breath prickled on the crook of her neck. Then Nathalie couldn’t feel him anymore. She shivered and instinctively curled until she sensed the warmth of his body behind her. She leaned into him. His arms wrapped around her. Lips pressed against the wig in a gentle kiss. 

“That was _amazing,_ ” Nathalie gushed. 

“I’m glad,” he answered. She felt the side of his face nestle against the wig along with a stroke of his hand against her upper arm.

The calm tone in his voice made Nathalie’s eyes flutter. She loosened in Gabriel’s sturdy embrace. Head drooped. Arms loosened. Her chest puffed up then fell with a deep exhale. Sleep crept further down. Her stomach sunk. Hips shifted to better accommodate resting on her side. It was then that she felt pressure inside her. An urgent, watery fullness that snapped her out of her drowsiness. With a quick glance back at Gabriel, she climbed out from underneath his arm.

“Emilie?” He sat upright. 

Emilie lasted throughout the night. After lovemaking, she showered Gabriel with tenderness. Listened to his every word as he let his emotional walls come down. Promised him that she’d stay by his side forever, and held onto him as they both fell asleep. When morning came, Nathalie was quick to place the wig, the lingerie, and all of Emilie’s other things back where they belonged. Shower, dress, and hurry out before Gabriel woke up. And most importantly, pretend that their night together never existed. Nathalie got off the bed. She turned her head and gave him a smile. 

“I’ll be right back.”

He grabbed her by the forearm.

“But _will_ you come back?” He anxiously asked.

Nathalie tried to take a step back. He wouldn’t let go. She let out a shaky laugh.

“What are you talking about? Of course I am, I just—” Nathalie winced at the strength of his grip. 

“But what if you don’t?” His voice wavered. “What if this is all for nothing and I can’t cure you and—“

He let go. Nathalie scooted back. Gabriel glanced down at his hands then back up at Nathalie. Tears streamed down his red, blotchy face.

“Oh god Emilie I’m so sorry I just don’t want you to _leave me!_ ”

Gabriel began to sob. 

“What will I _ever_ do without you darling?”

His words, cries, and the way he rocked back and forth pained her. She tensed up in her spot before jumping into action. Her arm felt heavy as she went to place a hand on his shoulder. She kept her stance stiff despite the urge to squirm about. And kept her gaze right into his eyes.

“Si-“ she caught herself in time. “Gabriel honey,” her voice sounded grating to the ears. “I promise I won’t ever leave you, but I have to use the bathroom.”

A mortified expression crossed Gabriel’s face. Nathalie watched him bury his face into his hands. His sobs echoed as she turned back towards the bathroom door. 

When she returned, Gabriel was fast asleep. As Nathalie drew closer she noticed that even though the color of his cheeks had returned to normal, the fresh outline of tear streaks could still be seen.

Nathalie’s heart sunk. She let out a shaky breath. She raised her hands to cover her mouth.

The wig fell to the floor. 

Nathalie ignored the clump of hair that lay behind her. Eyes forward, she climbed into bed. She wiped the tears away then placed her hand over his chest. It rose and fell. His heart thumped at a calm, steady, rhythm. Nathalie took a breath, then moved to speak.

“Gabriel?”

He did not stir. Nathalie rubbed his chest, then lowered her upper body so that her face was right over his’. 

“Gabriel, I know you’ll never hear this, or that if you do, you won’t care, but I’m in love with you.” 

Silence. Tears welled in Nathalie’s eyes. She stifled a cry and took another deep breath.

“ _I_ love you."

Her body sank back down onto the bed. She rested her head against his chest.

“All I want is for you to be _happy._ And if that means bringing Emilie back, then I will go to hell and back for you, but if—“

A teardrop fell. It curved down Nathalie’s cheek before landing on his chest.

“If she can’t come back, _I’ll_ always be here for you. I _promise._ ”

Nathalie raised her head again. She moved up and planted a kiss on Gabriel’s lips.

“Just let me stay with you, even if it’s just for one night.”

With no answer, Nathalie got under the covers. She turned her body to face him and placed her head on his chest once more. She closed her eyes. Gabriel still didn’t respond but it didn’t matter to Nathalie. _She_ was falling asleep in his arms.


End file.
